It's ridiculous how often we dance around the real issue at hand.
But it is also true that how you address the real issue determines whether someone hears you...
As coaches, we HAVE to get the nail out. It might be a little messy. How we orchestrate the conversation will determine our results.
Coaching is about asking the right questions and building rapport with those around us so that they gain the insight and confidence to name the problem themselves. This allows them to take ownership of their situation - which is crucial to their ability to make lasting change.
I declare 2015 the year we address all the elephants in the room!
Literally and figuratively in my case - I'm spending the first quarter of 2015 getting carpal tunnel surgery in both wrists while also going out on a limb to move my chair, lead a new team and take on a new position. As Eleanor Roosevelt said,
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
I know I'm on the right track when something in me says, "this is overwhelming, I can't quite see how I'll get there." I always feel this way right before I surprise myself.
Are you going out on any limbs this year? If you want to be a master of anything, you are. Mastery starts with taking risks, and experiencing the necessary vulnerability for creativity and ownership. The confidence you gain from going beyond your comfort zone, letting yourself be seen and owning the outcomes helps you get to a place of resilience - it builds the strength to learn from your mistakes as well as external challenges. The people who spend their lives mastering something are willing to go through this process again and again, and it's a process they get better at tackling. It hurts so much the first time you really push yourself. But that rush towards the next level can become something you crave.
Wishing you an exciting, kickass year of going beyond your own expectations. Start by taking on the thing you don't quite think you can do. Because if the path before you is clear and straight, you picked one boring path! It's the muddy, thorny, twisty ones that make us grow.